South Philly Review’s Pizza Olympics Review

The time finally came for the greatly anticipated Pizza Olympics.  How could one pass up all you can eat pizza from “reputable” pizza shops from all over the city?  I know I sure can’t. Unfortunately Matt was away corrupting children’s minds to participate but our good friend Adam stepped up as a stunt eater and Jim and Greg tagged along too.

It was a hot day.  Really hot.  We took a quick subway ride to Broad and Oregon which was followed by a bit of a sweaty walk to the far away venue at 20th and Moyamennsing.  Did I mention it was hot?

Upon arrival I realized I didn’t have any cash on me to pay the ticket price or for the numerous beers I was about to drink.  There is nothing around this place.  The closest ATM was at a diner that seemed like it took 15 minutes to walk to.  I wasn’t discouraged.  All I cared about was the pizza which would be happening soon enough.

Back at the venue the four of us paid and went straight to the bar.  In theory $2 beers is a great idea but the options were Coors Light and Yeungling Lager.  I’m no beer snob, I hate those people, but this wasn’t ideal.  I guess a $2 Lager is better than no beer at all and pizza and beer is one of the greatest things ever. Onward to pizza!

The place was a big open room with a dance floor in the middle.  The various pizza places lined the walls all the way around the room and the judge’s table was in the middle of the dance floor.  The DJ and “The Business” were on a stage behind the judges.  It was crowded with people gathering around the the tables trying to get a slice.  Some tables were a little more organized than others using a line system to disperse the pies while others just had people grabbing at loose slices.  There was a good mix of people from just about every walk of life.  You had young, old, black, white, punk, hippie, townie, transplant, slobster and everything in between.  I heard one woman say that she had her boobs done three times.  I tried to get a photo but but was unable to get one without attracting the attention of her roided up male companion.  She probably need a fourth boob job.  They were crooked.

The venue is kind of a dump.  One end of the room was poorly lit while the other was too bright.  The bar areas were fine but the bartenders were rude.  The walls needed a new coat of paint and the carpet was disgusting.  I don’t know why anyone would ever have a wedding here.

The entertainment left something to be desired.  The DJ played all the “oldies” hits which got the older couples on the dance floor.  He was actually not bad but he kept promoting his Friday night radio show on some AM station that I had never heard of.  Who in the Philadelphia area listens to AM stations that aren’t 610?  The band was the low point of the entertainment.  They’re called The Business (no, not the awesome British punk band) and it’s three people singing along to a CD.  That’s not a band.  That’s karaoke.

Enough about the atmosphere and my bad storytelling.  Let’s get down to the pizza.

Not just pizza

This was the first slice I sampled.  The cheese to sauce ratio was off with there being too much cheese and not enough sauce.  The crust was fine a but a bit chewy. Cheese had good flavor.  This was one of the better shops there.

Rustica

This was the only pizza shop not from South Philly.  They used fresh ingredients for the sauce and cheese but the crust reminded me of Domino’s.  An OK slice but not great.

Celebres

This was not good.  The slice was too greasy and the sauce was bad…almost like it had expired.  Tasted like something from Papa John’s.

City Pizza

This is straight up bad pizza.  It tasted like something that had been sitting under a heat lamp at a gas station for a few hours.

Francoluigis

This was very good.  It was probably the best slice I had all evening.  The cheese/sauce ration was perfect and the sauce was fresh.  The crust was crunchy and tastey.  A pleasant surprise.  Unfortunately their tomato pie was quite bad.  I think Adam described it was “a savory cake with tomato paste on top.”

The Pizza Shack

This tasted like Ellios but not actual Ellios…more like Acme brand “Ellios” style frozen pizza.  It was so bad that Adam had to take a second bite to fully comprehend how bad it really was.

Adriana’s

The crust was tough and the sauce had no flavor which was surprising because they won for the “Best Sauce”.  I’m pretty sure they used cheddar cheese.

Key Pizza

The flavor was nice but it had a Pizza Hut vibe to it.  A thicker crust with a lot of cheese.  Not bad, not great either.

Chickie and Pete’s

I don’t know why they’re throwing their hat into the pizza ring as they’re best known for overpriced beer and crab fries but they showed up.  They subscribe to the sauce on top philosophy.  The flavor is nice but the crust was so soggy that it ruined it. Gross.

Napoli

It took me a while to figure out where this place was.  I could have looked at the address on the menu but that’s not the point.  I knew I had been here and didn’t like it but couldn’t remember when, where or why.  It finally came to me.  It’s across the street from the Royal Tavern.  This is WAAAAAYYYYYYYY too greasy.  You get a little grease load with every bite.  The crust is clearly frozen and the rest of the ingredients are super bland.

J&J 

still sucks

There were other places that we didn’t get to either from the appearance of the pies or from being too full but I think we got to most of the places.  I would recommend having some sort of oven/warming mechanism to all of  the pizza shops for the next time.  I think Key Pizza was the only place to have one.

Overall I would say this was a subpar event.  This is a great idea with the right intentions but I feel like it was poorly organized and executed. The location is too far out of the way in no man’s land and the venue is a dump.  I know it’s run by the South Philly Review but I think expanding out of South Philly is key.  The participating shops were not very good.  I can think of several shops in Center City, West Philly and the Northeast that are leaps and bounds better than anything I ate that day.  Perhaps the people in charge can take notes from the 610 WIP people with their cheesesteak and hoagie events.  Or perhaps even partner with them.  One final note.  You are using the term “olympics.”  This means that there should be some sort of qualifying rounds to weed out the bad pizza.  There is something good going on here that just needs a bit of quality control.  I’m looking forward to next year.